It is no secret that every once in a while we need to hit the pause button on everyday life and take some time for ourselves to unwind from our realities — even parents of young children.
With 68% of mothers reporting they often feel burnt out according to a study conducted by the State University of Ohio, it is essential that they give themselves a break every so often
However, this can prove to be a daunting task for them. Not only are they left worried about leaving their babies, but they also have to deal with the mom shame and guilt that so many people project onto them.
When one mother faced backlash for leaving her newborn daughter with her husband while she vacationed with friends for a weekend, she clapped back with the perfect response that kicked mom shamers to the curb.
The mother pointed out that if a father had left his baby for the weekend no one would bat an eye.
Ashy Bines is an Australian social media influencer who often documents her daily life, including mothering her two children, seven-year-old Taj, and nine-month-old Tala. This means that she is especially prone to criticism from strangers on the Internet when it comes to her parenting methods.
In October 2022 when her daughter was a little over three months old, Bines embarked on a girls’ trip with her friends for the weekend while her husband Steve took charge of the kids. While she appeared to enjoy herself during the much-needed vacation, some of her followers believed that she should not have left her baby while she was still so young.
One person took it upon themselves to send her a direct message on Instagram that read, “How COULD you leave your baby with Steve for that long that’s so wrong.”
In a lengthy Instagram post, Bines defended her decision to leave the kids for a weekend, hitting some extremely valid points.
Tagged along with a photo of the mother beaming and holding up her smiling baby, she reveals that going on the weekend trip was harder than she expected: “[This was] moments before I balled my eyes out at the airport leaving my baby,” Bines wrote in the caption. “Feels like an arm is missing but dad is sending me loads of videos and nailing solo dad life.”
While she is well aware of the judgment that came her way, she begs her followers to hear her out.
“I LOVE my baby but also LOVE my friends. I LOVE my baby but also love travel and variety,” she writes. “I LOVE my baby but also love doing fun things just for me. I LOVE my baby and fully trust and love Steve having his bonding time with the kids and can enjoy myself knowing they are happy and safe!”
Bines believes that it is wrong for other women to think that leaving a baby with their father for a weekend is outrageous. She points out the double standard that exists between mothers and fathers.
“If a dad went away for 48 hours he’s never even questioned,” she writes.
The mother calls on parents to take it easy on each other and recognize what may not feel right in one family can be completely acceptable in another.
“Mummas let’s be kind to one another and not project or send hate to another mum who’s doing her thing,” Bines adds before stating that the nasty message she received did not upset her in the slightest but compelled her to address the situation on her Instagram page to support other mothers.
“[I want to] remind other mums it’s okay for you to have a life and enjoy other parts of your life not just mum life OR just need a break,” she shared.
Many of Bines’ followers who were also parents praised her and agreed with her message.
“Why is it that Mums have to be with the children all the time? They need time for themselves too. Steve is more than capable of having the kids for two days. The main thing is that you enjoy kid-free time away and relax,” one Instagram user commented.
“I used to leave my four-month-old with her dad to go to work ’cause it worked for US… whatever works for you – YOU DO YOU,” another user pointed out. Mothers taking a break is vital for their well-being. Sometimes they often forget that their needs are just as significant as their children’s.
And leaving the kids with Dad for a while is not such a bad thing! It allows children to also have a break from their mothers and spend quality time with their other parent, who is just as capable of looking after them.