Finding out that your spouse is cheating on you is devastating and difficult to get over but not uncommon.
Over 46% of married people have had affairs and of those, just 24% reported staying together.
A woman named Hollie Lanphere decided to use TikTok to vent about the discovery of her husband’s affair, and his shocking reaction, and to ask for advice on what her next move should be.
To start the video, Lanphere acknowledged that she is “a mess” and told viewers she had been crying for three days
She fully expected to get “flack” for sharing her story on social media but pressed ahead.
The TikToker advised that she caught her husband having an affair when she looked into his text messages.
When she asked him about the affair, he refused to give her any details.
The distraught wife naturally had a lot of questions about the situation, but her husband refused to answer.
According to Lanphere, the messages were saved under a fictitious name and her husband has outright said he would not share any details with her regarding the affair.
He told her it was for her own good and that the specifics were not important — that all he wanted was for his wife to simply forgive and forget.
But Lanphere didn’t feel that she could process the situation and heal without knowing exactly what happened.
She turned to TikTok to ask if she should take her wayward husband’s advice or continue to seek answers.
As expected, viewers wasted no time crucifying the husband for his audacity.
Most thought the fact that he would not disclose the identity of his mistress meant it was somebody his wife knew.
One woman said, “My very first thought was you know her. He doesn’t get to decide what you need to heal.”
Almost 4,000 people agreed, liking the comment.
Another woman offered a word of advice, stating, “I was never married but with my child’s father [for] 7 years. Once they start, they don’t stop. I tried and tried and tried. Wish you well wishes and healing.”
Lanphere returned to TikTok to provide an update after digging deeper into her husband’s actions.
In a second video, she shared that over the weekend, several people who had worked for her husband in the past reached out to give her some stunning details about why they left his company.
The ex-employees claimed that the man had been on Instagram looking to meet local women, and even went as far as bragging to them about cheating on his wife.
“I’ve probably just discovered the tip of the iceberg with this girl,” Lanphere admitted. “There’s probably multiple.”
She decided to see if her husband was still open to having an affair.
She colluded with her married friend, whom her husband knows well, in order to find out.
The TikToker sent her girlfriend to a birthday party that she knew her husband would be attending on Saturday night.
The woman admitted that even with all she had uncovered, she held out hope that her husband would turn the woman away in an effort to repair their relationship.
He failed the test and tried to hook up with his wife’s friend.
To her disappointment, she said, “He took the bait completely… hook, line, sinker. Completely tried to hook up with her. Even after she left the bar. Reaching out to her all Saturday night until two in the morning.”
Lanphere said that he tried desperately to get her friend to come over the next day, sending several messages to no avail.
She saw the screenshots and was “repulsed” by his actions.
Finally, after being rejected the man decided to reach out to his estranged wife around 10:00 in the evening on Sunday, telling her that he missed her and wanted to go to counseling.
The TikToker has resigned herself to the fact that her husband has no remorse, and that where there is smoke, there is a fiery inferno — she is “absolutely leaving.”
Viewers offered words of comfort, but most implored her to stay in her home.
One person posted, “DO NOT MOVE OUT OF YOUR HOME!!! You and kids stay, he goes. Never leave your home!”
The same sentiment was shared by another woman who said, “Being divorced, my advice; make sure you file first, do NOT leave the home, change [your] life insurance beneficiary immediately if it’s him.”
Others were concerned with her emotional health..
A woman advised, “Go to counseling but not with him. You’ll need a trauma-informed therapist familiar with narcissism and CPTSD.”